Working Partnership

Patty Potter Fichett, wise woman, wrote these words from Stephen Sond­heim  on her FB page yesterday:

It’s hobbies you pursue together, savings you accrue together, looks you miscon­strue together that make marriage a joy.…

It struck me as useful advice — advice you don’t want to post­pone following.  These things don’t only make marriage a joy, they make it a marriage. Togeth­er­ness is the goal of your marriage.

That’s why it’s really dangerous to have only one person doing all the wedding plan­ning. Plan your wedding and your marriage together. Wedding plan­ning is a great crucible for forging a working part­ner­ship. A wedding isn’t the “bride’s special day,” it’s the event that moves you from engaged to married and cele­brates that tran­si­tion with your friends.

Tip: Want to build the best marriage possible? Start working together at the very begin­ning… and then share the laughter and the tears that accrue through a life­time of living into that sharing!

What to Put in Your Wedding Program?

I get this ques­tion all the time. And my answer is always: far less than you think.

During the wedding cere­mony, you want people to be paying atten­tion to the wedding cere­mony. If people have reading mate­rial in their hands, they will pay atten­tion to that. Guar­an­teed. So, what belongs there?

  1. Names of Participants
  2. Order of Service
  3. Dedi­ca­tion

Tip: Leave anything else out for post wedding hand­outs. You were wondering how to get your cousin’s niece involved anyway!

Let Fall Give Your Wedding Planning a Boost

There are lots of seasonal metaphors that Autumn offers a wedding couple. I’ll share some of them with you this week.

But the fact is the season also good for “harvesting” all the research you’ve done over the long hot summer. There’s nothing like a cold snap to give you the energy to get things accom­plished. So, even though we’re all whiny because we are loosing warmth and light, get orga­nized and get going. This season has arrived to gava­nize you in your wedding plan­ning! (kudos to © 2007 Christy L. Varon­fakis for this beau­tiful photo!)

fall_leaves

budget weddings, what are they good for?

I’ve been writing a series over on http://articlesbyann.com about plan­ning your wedding cheaply. The thing I keep stressing in that series is that you can change what you do and how you think about your budget when you focus on meaning rather than money.

In today’s great examiner.com article, Eliz­a­beth Oakes rues the mass purchasing weddings. She asks whether you really save money and reminds us that these weddings require a far greater time commit­ment of brides and grooms. Always amusing, (really, read her, follow her over there.) she points out that you often get exactly what you paid for. Another thing I never have under­stood about weddings is why everyone wants their weddings to be exactly like the next one. Ware­house weddings offer way too many possi­bil­i­ties for that.

Tip: There are lots of good ways to cut costs at weddings. Some of them include not doing some of the “musts” at weddings. (Never saw a recep­tion that wasn’t impoved by skip­ping the expen­sive garter toss!) But here are a couple things to consider.

  1. Make a wedding budget, figure out where you want to spend your money and stick to it. So much of wedding cost is over-​​run.
  2. Simplify your wedding notions. What are you really trying to accom­plish here? And you know what, there’s nothing that says you can’t have a great party at some other point in your life. Gather your friends on a frequent basis, it’ll make your marriage better and it’ll be a lot of fun.
  3. Shift from money to meaning. Create a fabu­lous wedding cere­mony and great wedding vows. Now people are there for the cele­bra­tion and not the party and that’s a good thing.

Use your wedding to solicit support for your Marriage

Marriages do better when supported by a commu­nity. Your commu­nity came to your wedding wanting to cele­brate and support your wedding vows and your marriage. This rela­tion­ship that is so perfect for you deserves to be celebrated.

Tip: So give your commu­nity a chance and they will give you all the support you could ever want. Check back tomorrow for the begin­ning of some pointers on how you can use different segments of your wedding to build the support you want.