Tag Archives: ritual activities

What’s a traditional part of your life? Make it part of your ceremony!

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When looking to design a cere­mony that has meaning and perhaps a bit of wisdom, why not include your own life?

Did the two of you meet at Star­bucks through on-​​line dating? Share a cuppa coffee at your ceremony?

Do you ride bikes together as part of your exer­cise program? Then come down the aisle on a pedicab — prob­ably the one with the big poofy white dress should ride, but it’ll get a giggle if you go the other way. (I’d prac­tice first, however!)

Don’t over empha­size it, just make it a moment, but acknowl­edging your life is a good way to help people under­stand why you’re compatible!

Tip: remember! you want to have a good time at your wedding even as you’re taking it very seriously.

What do you want from a Metaphor: #8

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The image you chose as a metaphor

8.    should support the wedding vows you are making.

You don’t need to have it in the vows, but the picture the image offers helps everyone to under­stand why you are offering those specific promises.

Your vows should be written from your strengths, values and talents. They should shore up those areas of your rela­tion­ship that are not perhaps inately your best talents. Your metaphor should help everyone envi­sion the work you are under­taking. It should be a talisman throughout the years to remind you of the work you are doing… and the joy you have in making these commitments.

Tip: The stronger the iden­ti­fi­ca­tion you can make with a metaphor, and the more frequently the image appears in your life, the more support it will offer your marriage. It will also remind your commu­nity to support you when­ever they see the image show up and they make the connec­tion to your promises to one another.

What do you want from a Metaphor: #7

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The image of a metaphor is strength­ened if

7. it is some­what common.

You want to rein­force the notion that love is ubiq­ui­tous and that your rela­tion­ship thrives in the every day. Marriage, after all is an every day activity. The metaphor you choose to illus­trate your love in your wedding cere­mony should be frequently encountered.

If some­thing is too exotic in your life, then your chances of encoun­tering it are slimmer. You loose the rein­force­ment that common activ­i­ties offer. So using an image that involves the life-​​cycle of a camel if you live in Rhode Island, even if it can be made glori­ously beau­tiful, is not going to provide the daily rein­force­ment that the tides of the sea or the changing of the seasons might.

Tip: Choose a metaphor to describe your rela­tion­ship that has value and frequency in your life. Then it can be some­thing more than poetic beauty, it can be a marital aid.

What do you want from a Metaphor: #6

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Metaphors work best

6.    When there is an activity that accom­pa­nies it.

Food you eat, things you plant, water you spill out. These allow the image to settle in more deeply.

The more common the images, the more they will be rein­forced in our daily lives.  The more they’re rein­forced in our daily lives, the greater the meaninng they will have in our marriages.

Tip: choose a metaphor to describe your love that can be rein­forced with a small activity. Use it in your wedding cere­mony. For 3 weeks after­wards, do the action and think of the way you love one another. There you are, with your love for one another sealed into the sharing of bread, for the rest of your life.

What do you want from a Metaphor: #4

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Metaphors work, as I’ve pointed out. But what you want is for them to work well. You’re looking for them to help out your marriage. So, choose a metaphor that will help you.

4.    The image should be “conta­gious” and appealing. It should be some­thing that people can under­stand quickly.

Hall­mark does so well because it uses metaphors that appeal to us. Your job is to find some­thing that appeals specif­i­cally to you, but is completely gras­pable by your community.

Part of the lovely nature of metaphor is that it takes some­thing complex and simpli­fies it for us. OH, your love is like a game of tennis between two friendly and seasoned competi­tors. Good volleys, inter­esting shots, as much interest in an enjoy­able game as in winning the point. (No, really, there are people like that!)

Tip: Find a metaphor that is attrac­tive. Some­thing you would want in your life on a daily basis. Some­thing simple you can work with on a daily basis and then let it help you grow a great marriage.