If you’re going to get support from your commu­nity, it’s really helpful to acknowl­edge that you under­stand that marriage is chal­lenging as well as wonderful. Too many weddings focus only on the plea­sure and not on the work of marriage. Too many people split up because they under­es­ti­mate the work involved in making a live with someone else. And making it look magical and wonderful — that’s an expo­nen­tial increase in effort. Most people will tell you it’s well worth your while, but it is hard work.

Tip: You want to let your commu­nity know that you admire the ways in which they have made their rela­tion­ships flourish and that you will be needing their support so that you can thrive. You’re going to need them to listen to you and turn you around and shove you back towards home when times are tough. They’ve always supported you and that’s why you’re going to keep looking to them for guidance.

The first part of a State­ment of Support includes 2 pieces

1. An acknowl­edg­ment that marriage is diffi­cult, partic­u­larly now when so much miti­gates against it. It takes a lot of dedi­ca­tion to make marriage work. Everyone enters marriage expecting it to work. But for all the fa-​​der-​​ol about the “sanc­tity” of marriage, it doesn’t have a lot of impor­tance or support in the real world.
2. An acknowl­edg­ment of the impor­tance of commu­nity to a wedding couple.The facts are in. Couples do better when their commu­nity supports them and this impor­tant rela­tion­ship. The more specific a couple can be about why their rela­tion­ship is impor­tant to them in the wedding, the better able a commu­nity is to support that marriage in the future.

Tip: Explain the impor­tant role that commu­ni­ties make in keep marriages sound. You’re going to ask people for support. Let them know why it matters. They’re more likely to step up to the task. End result? Closer friends and a better marriage!