Why not use this week to set some new ways of running your relationship? Why not try things that will kick start the romance and the fun!

Consider this: Call your beloved for a date to do some silly thing together.

Yes, I know you see him/her every day. But act as if this relationship is important enough to make a formal request to spend time in one another’s company. And then plan a walk in the snow, or making a snow person or two (if you live along the Atlantic Seaboard, you’re likely to have some snow to play in!

Tip: Start out, or get back to the way you would like to go on! Bring back the romance!: :

So this is a perfect time to get married! (says the woman married on February 2!)

And what better way to celebrate that coming into being than decorating your table with small pots of flowers in differing stages of blooming. Pastel blooms peaking out of green leaves signify the promise to come. An occasional paperwhite burst into full scent foretells what’s to come. Is this sounding like marriage yet?

Tip: Bulbs are a beautiful (and dare I say it, cost effective) way of celebrating your wedding in this season of promise!

Now, doesn’t this image say blooming marriage?

What is going to happen this holiday that the two of you will enjoy. Nothing more than cuddling in your bed? Well, maybe your tradition is getting a new set of flannel sheets for your joint holiday present!

Do you really like cookies and milk (or fill in your favorite foodstuff!) then you might want to find yourself the perfect milk glasses and cookie plates. Plates that you only use for the holiday.

It takes neither a lot of money nor a huge amount of effort to plan something sweet that slows you down and lets you enjoy one another.

Tip: plan something simple but sweet as a way to be together. Already over scheduled? I’m sure there’s something you can fit in. Get up a half hour early and snuggle. Dozing in one another’s arms is great. But then pay careful attention,or (gasp) have a conversation about what it was that was fun over the holidays. Next year. Do more of that. That’s how holiday traditions get started. There’s something that’s about celebration that’s going to draw each of you in and not step on any holiday corns. Remember, the season says life is supposed to be quiet and sweet right now.

add your sweetie beloved and you’ve got a holiday tradition!

The fact is you’ll do better building new memories if you start from realizing what was the sweet thing at the heart of your memory. I recently heard a woman tell the story of how her parents made a big red ribbon line that she followed around the house until she discovered her present… a great big cuddly bear. She got the bear when she was 4 and has him still. Part of what made that particular bear a great gift was the build-up… (Hint: build up costs nothing and requires simply a little inventiveness and a bit of humor.) The bear represented companionship.

If you discover the heart of the memories, then the plans you make can grow out of the positive things: Rather than, let’s not spend any money on gifts because we don’t have any: Let’s not spend money on gifts because what we want are gifts from the heart. And we’ll give gift money to someone else. Or, it may be that this is the year to give one another sparkly shiny things because your love is sparkly and shiny. But whatever it is, spend some time remembering and sharing what was best for you about the holidays.

Tip: Create the holidays you want to have not the holiday everyone thinks you should have. And base your plans on what was wonderful for you when you were a child.

Before you start making a lot of holiday plans that you might get stuck in forever, why not figure out what makes each of you and both of you happy about the holidays?

1. What do you like to do? What are your favorite holiday memories? How can you repeat them?
2. What do you care about? From cookies, to caroling to volunteering? What do the holidays say to you?
3. Who do you want to spend time with? Are holidays about friends? family? people in need? You get to choose!
4. What holiday traditions would you like to establish in your own home? When you’re newly engaged or newly married, it can be easily assumed that you’ll go to other people’s houses. That may not be the only way you want to have the holidays.

Tip: Talking about these things and planning ahead will serve you in very good stead in  the years to come. It will also establish a pattern of discerning what really matters to you which will be great for the wedding and for your life. Why not have yourselves a happy little holiday season?

There are lots of fun things to do with fans. Victorian women (of the leisure class, which would leave a lot of us without a feather to flutter) had an entire language of fans. It doesn’t seem like a bad idea to excavate some of the language of flirtation to start having more fun in your play life with your partner.

I’d seen some fairly jeweled and ornamental fans and admired them. But now I’m totally in love. Isn’t this gorgeous? Wouldn’t it have looked fabulous against my black velvet wedding dress? How about against your white satin one? Flowers, they’re so summer!

Tip: Go ahead and play at your wedding. Look your best and have a good time.

Why?

It’s just food and family. There’s nothing more wonderful.

If there’s too much tension going on, dial it back. Dial back your expectations of the meal, dial back everyone’s contributions.

Are you prone to the “if i don’t have this side-dish, it’s not Thanksgiving” syndrome? Remember that you can make side dishes another day. You can visit other families another weekend. Don’t consign thanksgiving/Thanksgiving to a single date. Eat and be happy with the people you love. And if you can’t be there, set up the camera and skype. Let your families be together, wherever they are!

Tip: consider making Thanksgiving a celebration for which you are grateful. Beautiful table settings, family recipes, family time — these are not things we have too much of in our lives. So instead of thinking about the possible horrors, move into pollyanna mode (anyone remember who she was?) and start being grateful. Have a blessed day, my friends! (and here’s a NY Times article about what you can learn from Turkey Day at home.)

So couples who are entering domesticity can symbolize this by jumping the broom.

Wow! they’ve got some height!

Tip: This is a nice way to stop and consider what you’re really doing as you marry. It’s not the wedding that’s important. it’s the marriage you’re creating.

So glad you asked! Brooms and witches, today, brooms and hearths tomorrow.

In certain wedding traditions, women wielding brooms walk before the wedding couple, brushing obstacles from their paths. They were often elders in the village, women who knew how to ease the stones away without creating a large amount of dust.

Tip: Why not have a wisdom shower? Ask your bridesmaids (or go ahead and do it yourself) to ask all the women over 50 to give you advice about marriage, creating a home, being a great woman. It’s a book you’ll treasure forever.

Luckily, no seamstress can see closely enough to see the oopsies! It makes a nice break from article writing. My girlfriend Jeanie who took these photos, said, didn’t you make a top from that fabric. 1) I promise never to wearthem together. 2) not everyone is as observant as she is. 2) just think of me as your own individual von trapp family raiding the curtains. (and who coulda lived with these curtains!)

Tip: Always have a good time, except when you can’t!

Ann n Dee in front of Jean Weston’s Fabulous Quilt. We’ll be raffling that off!