I keep saying (and will always keep saying) that part of your wedding plan­ning needs to be marriage plan­ning. i concen­trate a lot on what are you going to value in one another and in your marriage. But another ques­tion you want to be asking is what are you going to DO in your marriage. who will you spend time with? and what will you do with that time?

I was the single friend of married couples for many years. It’s impor­tant to have friends of all stripes. But there’s some­thing to a married couple’s having married friends. Not at the expense of your single friends, because hey, we’re charming inter­esting and funny! And we have been friends for years. But from time to time you need to rein­force your couple­ness. You need to observe other couples in rela­tion­ship to under­stand what you do and don’t want to do in your marriage.

Tip: Plan a couples’ party for the holiday. Hang out with people with good rela­tion­ship juju. Let it rub off on you! (Tomorrow? silly parlor games!)