Money and Marriage Advo­cate, Dr. Taffy Wagner is a personal finances educator. When she goes to the movies she always looks at movies from the perspec­tive of what more could have been shared in the area of finances or what was shared that couples or indi­vid­uals can use.

There will be regular posts on new and old movies that talk about the money impli­ca­tion. Go check it out here!

Tip: She’s doing the work to show you where you might want to be doing some work about finances in your marriage. Well worth the gander!

On Sunday, my friend and colleague, Eliz­a­beth Oakes, wrote an article in examiner.com which decried solic­iting dona­tions for a wedding. It described wedding couples who are getting deals from vendors in exchange for notices on the tables or in the program. huh?

It’s no surprise to anyone here that I charge, and quite hand­somely, for my services in crafting and performing wedding cere­monies and helping you create the promises you will keep. It’s also true that I offer DIY options in the forms of books and prod­ucts. (Please visit my shop for prod­ucts that can help you craft the wedding cere­mony of your dreams!) I have a good track record and my clients tend to have higher rates of marital success because they’ve care­fully thought through their promises. I would argue that the one thing you need at a wedding cere­mony is a cele­brant. It’s my opinion that the right cele­brant can make a differ­ence not only in your wedding but also in your rela­tion­ship going forward.

But favors? You don’t need favors to be married. If you can’t afford to feed 350 people you need either to feed them cake only or to invite fewer people. People are not enti­tled to expen­sive weddings, nor do they need them. Most of us aren’t celebri­ties, we don’t have to have a celebrity wedding.

We will all prosper from having supportive friends at our wedding. But we shouldn’t be buying them nor should they be buying us.

Am I a hypocrite because I had a pot-​​luck wedding? I don’t think so. Pot-​​luck weddings are a family tradi­tion. Our commu­nity was looking for a party and happy to play wedding. Incred­ible bonds were created by that wedding among all sorts of unlikely parties. While Steve and I had a wedding we really wanted, our commu­nity partic­i­pated in a commu­nity event that was also our wedding. Somehow I’m always happy to make a gift of love and food as part of a cele­bra­tion, but I’m drawing the line at cold cash. I hope you’ll think about how you want your commu­nity to partic­i­pate in your cele­bra­tion and what you want to offer them, rather than what they can offer you.

I don’t know, Eliz­a­beth, am I wrong? Is there a differ­ence between pot-​​luck and cash?

Tip: If you’re not following Elizabeth’s column, you should be. Sign up when you go read her article.

Back with the Newsweek article discussing why women want to consider bottom line in making marriage choices:

The prin­cipal argu­ment that Ford and Drake make in Smart Girls Marry Money has to do with the fact that women’s salaries have not yet caught up to men’s. And that should influ­ence our marriage choices, we ask incredulously?

Well, if you’re plan­ning to have chil­dren, “yes,” they say. “We gals just haven’t come far enough or fast enough,” they say. “We know it’s impor­tant to take the long view of things, but as we’ve heard said, in the long view, we’ll all be dead.”

Tip: Well, plan­ning for your future is impor­tant. And certainly any bride who’s able to pull off the wedding you’re looking at is capable of plan­ning. But if you’re not going to marry rich, you might to at least want to consider, plan­ning your finances. Go check out Dr. Taffy who helps couples clear up their money issues before they marry (now there’s a concept!). She’s here to help you plan for your marriage with the guy you’re already in love with. (You still might want to read Drake and Ford’s book, however, I think it will make you think about the way you make choices.)