Tag Archives: abundance

10 Steps to Building Your Perfect Wedding Ceremony: #3b Gratitude

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One of the things we often over­look in wedding cere­monies is the impor­tance of expressing appre­ci­a­tion and gratitude.

You’re getting married to an unbe­liev­able person. If that doesn’t deserve a moment of awestruck wonder and grat­i­tude, what does? It’s an impor­tant part of a wedding ceremony.

But equally impor­tant is taking the time to thank the people who taught you, to the best of their abil­i­ties, to say I love you and to show love. To be love. However mixed up your family, and many are, the fact is, what they wanted most was to love you and see you flourish. For some of those people we have to admit, they only manage that on their best days and they may not have a lot of them.

But most people really do the best they can. Appre­ciate that. I find two things happen when sincere thanks are expressed:

  1. Parents’ and fami­lies’ hearts are warmed by your grat­i­tude. Warm hearts have room for more love!
  2. People who are thanked somehow see you as ready to move on to the next phase of your life, in this case your new family. It softens the inevitable tran­si­tions of relationship.

Tip: Thank the peope who brought you this far and who will be there for you in the future. (Because if you hadn’t wanted them to be there, you wouldn’t have invited them.) And you have to hope if the rela­tion­ships are diffi­cult that your thanking them will ease the rela­tion­ship. So you not only express your grat­i­tude, you also may better those ties. Not a bad thing at all.

Should Women Marry Money: The Planning

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The Wedding Priestess has been walking around mulling this over in her head.  The only reason Smart Girls Marry Money by Ford and Drake is inter­esting is that we’re looking at an insti­tu­tion gone wrong. Most of us would hesi­tate before an oper­a­tion with only a 50 percent survival rate, partic­u­larly if our chances of muddling through without it were so-​​so as well.

But we often don’t think before we marry about how we’re going to make this rela­tion­ship work. Hey, I’m a geezer babe, suppos­edly full of wisdom, and I never thought about this. Steve’s and my marriage is odder than most in the way we have arranged our money and our marriage.

But money matters. We’re finding that out as everyone hits the reces­sion. You have to plan wisely for your family. Even wise plan­ning doesn’t always help, but plan­ning helps better than no plan­ning. How are the two of you going to provide for your family? And by family, read that not only as your darling babes and their college educa­tions, but also as your retire­ment. Money is one of those things that breaks marriages up, and guess what, when you break up a marriage,  money doesn’t get easier and the fighting doesn’t stop. Partic­u­larly if there are chil­dren. So, not so helpful.

Tip: This is one of those things that you can talk about. This is one of those things you should talk about. Plan for your future. Because whether or not you do, it’s coming. Some­times it’s better to plan.

Should Women Marry Money: The Divorce

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The Newsweek article about Ford and Drake’s Book: Smart Women Marry Money details more of their thinking: ‘Then there’s divorce. Ford and Drake say that since women suffer econom­i­cally much more than men when they get divorced, snag­ging a good provider is ulti­mately crit­ical to an equi­table settle­ment. And if current statis­tics hold, half of new couples are likely to even­tu­ally split up. Given that depressing reality, Ford and Drake say that a husband’s earning power is a more impor­tant indi­cator of a woman’s future happi­ness than his cute smile. “If the marriage crashes,” they write, “it’s the women who are exposed to an extremely high risk of poverty.” They urge their readers to look for a Mr. Right “who just happens to be Mr. Rich.“‘

Their statis­tics are correct. Their thinking, prac­tical. Their conclu­sions, depressing.

What are you doing to make sure that your marriage is on the right side of the divorce split? What finan­cial manage­ment skills are you devel­oping? What are your plans for devel­oping finan­cial secu­rity for your new family? What commu­ni­ca­tion skills are you honing? How do the wedding vows you’re crafting reflect both your deter­mi­na­tion to succeed but also your blue­print for a successful marriage?

Tip: You can marry whomever you want. You can have a successful marriage. It does take more than a wish and a prayer, however. Start building a successful marriage as you start plan­ning your wedding. You’ll be very glad you did.

Should Women Marry Money: The Marriage

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Back with the Newsweek article discussing why women want to consider bottom line in making marriage choices:

The prin­cipal argu­ment that Ford and Drake make in Smart Girls Marry Money has to do with the fact that women’s salaries have not yet caught up to men’s. And that should influ­ence our marriage choices, we ask incredulously?

Well, if you’re plan­ning to have chil­dren, “yes,” they say. “We gals just haven’t come far enough or fast enough,” they say. “We know it’s impor­tant to take the long view of things, but as we’ve heard said, in the long view, we’ll all be dead.”

Tip: Well, plan­ning for your future is impor­tant. And certainly any bride who’s able to pull off the wedding you’re looking at is capable of plan­ning. But if you’re not going to marry rich, you might to at least want to consider, plan­ning your finances. Go check out Dr. Taffy who helps couples clear up their money issues before they marry (now there’s a concept!). She’s here to help you plan for your marriage with the guy you’re already in love with. (You still might want to read Drake and Ford’s book, however, I think it will make you think about the way you make choices.)

Women: Should you marry rich?

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Well! Barbara Kantrowitz and Pat Wingert wrote an inter­esting article in Newsweek on a book by Eliz­a­beth Ford, a news producer, and Daniela Drake, a physi­cian. The name of their book is Smart Girls Marry Money.

As a woman who has consis­tently NOT consid­ered money in any of her rela­tion­ships, and married a man AFTER he had lost his wealth, it’s been an amusing and insightful read! I defi­nitely married the right man for me. But there are some inter­esting points this book raises about the way we make choices for our mates in today’s marriage marketplace.

I have to admit, there’s some pretty inter­esting stuff here. Let’s take a look, shall we? What do you think is Mae West right? I know my duckies, you’re asking, Mae who? sigh… look ‘er up!