So this is a perfect time to get married! (says the woman married on February 2!)

And what better way to celebrate that coming into being than decorating your table with small pots of flowers in differing stages of blooming. Pastel blooms peaking out of green leaves signify the promise to come. An occasional paperwhite burst into full scent foretells what’s to come. Is this sounding like marriage yet?

Tip: Bulbs are a beautiful (and dare I say it, cost effective) way of celebrating your wedding in this season of promise!

Now, doesn’t this image say blooming marriage?

Yes, actually, you can finish up early. You don’t need to be shopping for (fill-in-the-blanks) on Wednesday when you’re getting married on Saturday. Seems to be a little known secret that they sell stockings on weeks other than the one you’re getting married, and if you were planning on wearing hose, they won’t disintegrate if you get them early.

All this running around adds stress. And stress makes for distance between you and your sweetiebeloved. And you are getting married. Distance between you and your sweetiebeloved is not a helpful ingredient for your wedding day.

Tip: It’s important that you sleep right, eat right, and hang out with the wonderful friends who are arriving from around the globe to wish you well. If you’re absolutely hell-bent on your week of stress, go ahead and plan it a month before your wedding. Then you can use this time to hang out with your soon-to-be spouse.

In the run up to the day, as you’re taking care of those last minute somethings, in stores where other brides and grooms are shopping, it’s easy to look across the aisle at something that isn’t on your list and think wow… wouldn’t that be a nice addition to what we’ve got going on.

Resist!

1. It’s not in your budget. And those last minute adds are the budget breakers, even $30 at a time!
2. It’s not in your plan. You very carefully considered what was going to make  your wedding wonderful. You’ve got the elements. No need to gild the lily!
3. It’s just stuff. Stuff you’re going to have to take home. Stuff you’re going to have to dispose of or recycle. Stuff isn’t going to make your wedding sing, the love you share with your community: your love for one another and your love for them is what’s going to make your wedding remarkable.

Antidote: Call a partner and make a date for romance. Go out, share a drink and stare into one another’s eyes. Go home and practice your kiss and see where that leads. Either or both of these are a lot more fun than stress shopping. (And cheaper!)

Did the two of you meet at Starbucks through on-line dating? Share a cuppa coffee at your ceremony?

Do you ride bikes together as part of your exercise program? Then come down the aisle on a pedicab — probably the one with the big poofy white dress should ride, but it’ll get a giggle if you go the other way. (I’d practice first, however!)

Don’t over emphasize it, just make it a moment, but acknowledging your life is a good way to help people understand why you’re compatible!

Tip: remember! you want to have a good time at your wedding even as you’re taking it very seriously.

But it’s January, and time for putting into motion all the plans and dreams from before the holiday madness intervened. So, look here for more helpful hints and thoughts about your relationship, your wedding and your marriage. You’ll want to check in occasionally on the writing I do for Examiner.com and Over at Ezine articles (check out the right-hand side of the page.) and this week, no really, I promise!, you’ll get a glimpse of my new monthly newsletter (called, what else? The Wedding Priestess!) with all sorts of reflections about gettin’ hitched from me and from some of my most beloved wedding colleagues!

It’s going to be a great year. After all, you’re getting married! Or you’re woroking on a really wonderful relationship! Let’s celebrate together!

Believing in you and in your love,

Ann

Someone else can address the religious aspects of this. If this is a religious ceremony, is it respectful? Clergy, please weigh in on this. If you’ve invited the Divine to show up at your wedding, should She/He have to wait around while you get in touch with people who don’t care because people who do care are at your wedding? I know that there’s a craze in certain traditions for people to twitter during church about church. um, the multitasking thing? not paying attention! um, marriage? really, really important!

The groom said he did it to be funny. Not paying attention at your wedding ceremony to the vows you’re making is not funny, it’s just immature. And there’s that other thing. It’s impolite. To your community, to your celebrant and to that person who just said she/he wants to spend the rest of their life with you.

And why do I think that this is a picture of a wedding where the couple are “cutely” tweeting their vows to one another. Do you see anyone at the table who cares?

Tweet, tweet love ain’t what it used to be

Tip: Sorry, the Wedding Priestess disagrees. This is not a sweet personal touch in a wedding ceremony. When technology gets your grandma in the nursing home at your wedding, that’s a good use of the tech. When you take time off to show everyone how cute you are, whether that’s with technology or a piece of string, that’s inappropriate!

End result, she outspent her budget. She’s not the first and she’s not the last.  Unless you decide to make it different. It’s not a great idea to combine wedding party post partum slump with how do I manage my life. It can easily become a bit overwhelming, and lead to tussles with your new spouse.

Tip: As with everything else, a little planning can help this. And that’s not just wedding planning, it’s life and marriage planning. What’s important in your wedding? You’re marrying your beloved. Your job, together with your partner, is to figure out what’s really going to make that work. And then design a celebration that suits the life you’re going to build.

I succumbed, I admit it. But my wedding ceremony was involved and had responsive readings. (I am the Wedding Priestess, after all!)

But if your wedding ceremony is straightforward, you don’t have to have one. Your bridal party will be introduced at the reception. And they’re not inexpensive, even if you design them.

Tip: consider whether or not you’re having wedding programs because you need them or because the wedding industry thinks you need them.

Or you may want to dedicate your ceremony to the people who have inspired the two of you to marry by their wonderful examples of lifelong relationship. You can mention some, or you can allow everyone to assume that they’re the people who inspired you. Which will actually have a great impact on their marriages.

Tip: Whatever you choose to do with a dedication, keep it short!

1. the order of service
2. the name of music and poetry pieces being used
3. any longer readings in which they’ll participate

You do not want to publish short responses or the poems being read. People are congenitally incapable of listening when they’ve got reading matter in their hands. You want people listening to your words. They’re at your service to hear you make your promises to one another, not to read a lovely poem. Help them out!

Tip: Keep the reading material to your wedding at a minimum and you’ll have a far more engaged crowd!