February 22nd, 2010
Last night I sat at dinner next to a bride who has actually planned out her wedding ceremony (and her wedding is still months away! Go, grrl!) Her minister was pleased but taken aback. Who plans ahead for this? Who has input to offer their celebrant?
Well, You! or at least I’m hoping.
The two of you want to be working on the wedding ceremony. Planning your ceremony is (or should be) planning your marriage. What do you want to say to one another? How would you like your community to support you in your marriage?
Tip: Your wedding ceremony isn’t something you want to be leaving to chance. It’s going to shape your marriage for a long time to come. So why not have some input into that?
January 15th, 2010
Youtube is great. But it’s not necessarily what weddings should be about.
You’ve got work to do at your wedding. You’re getting married. That’s actually where you want your focus to be on your wedding day, not on whether or not you’re going to nail the over-the-shoulder-flip (in your poofy dress!) during the reception.
Learn a lovely fox trot. If you’re already dancers, you can spice it up a skootch. But really, what you want to be focused on while you’re dancing is how much you love one another, rather than remembering a routine.
Tip: Just be your lovely, wonderful, in-love selves. That will be a marvelous thing to see!
November 19th, 2009
Once you get engaged, it seems all the focus goes on the wedding. Brides and grooms bustle about getting this and that in order for the big party.
What they don’t do enough of is be engaged in the relationship. This is a time period best used to work out issues, establish patterns and deepen your relationship.
Planning a party is fun. Planning your wedding ceremony is important. But planning a path for your love to grow? It’s essential. And it’s the goal.
Tip: What were the most important moments of your engagement period? How did your relationship deepen over this time? (other than the financial ties you built when you took out a second mortgage to pay for your wedding?)
November 17th, 2009
Patty Potter Fichett, wise woman, wrote these words from Stephen Sondheim on her FB page yesterday:
It’s hobbies you pursue together, savings you accrue together, looks you misconstrue together that make marriage a joy….
It struck me as useful advice — advice you don’t want to postpone following. These things don’t only make marriage a joy, they make it a marriage. Togetherness is the goal of your marriage.
That’s why it’s really dangerous to have only one person doing all the wedding planning. Plan your wedding and your marriage together. Wedding planning is a great crucible for forging a working partnership. A wedding isn’t the “bride’s special day,” it’s the event that moves you from engaged to married and celebrates that transition with your friends.
Tip: Want to build the best marriage possible? Start working together at the very beginning… and then share the laughter and the tears that accrue through a lifetime of living into that sharing!
NEW! 10 Easy Steps to a Perfect Wedding
Promises To Keep: Crafting Your Own Wedding Ceremony
Remembering a Life: On the Death of Your Beloved
