» Ritual Activities - Ann Keeler Evans, M.Div.

Jump over the (witch’s) broom!

October 29th, 2009

The broom has always signified the domestic side of life. Witches are associated with brooms because their “magic” was thought to be practiced close to the hearth fire. Most “witches” (at least of the Northern European variety) were healers or weavers or spinners. (NB: the “witch children” currently being killed in Africa are often children who have no visible means of support. Brand them as witches, drive them out or kill them, and no one needs to be financially responsible for them)

So couples who are entering domesticity can symbolize this by jumping the broom.

Wow! they've got some height!

Tip: This is a nice way to stop and consider what you’re really doing as you marry. It’s not the wedding that’s important. it’s the marriage you’re creating.

Creating a Statement of Community Support: Ask for What You Want

October 19th, 2009

The easiest way to get what you want is to ask for it.

I’m sure there are people who will say to me that you don’t absolutely need your community’s support to thrive in marriage. But if you have it you’ll do better. We thrive in community.

The best way to get your community’s support is to tell them during the wedding that you want their support. You ask this question instead of asking the “does anyone object” question. You can ask the question “will you support this couple in marriage?” People will say “We will.” That will be helpful. But far more helpful is asking the community to make a statement. Have your celebrant make a statement that they can repeat which promises their love and support.

Tip: People take these promises seriously. They will remember. They will offer their support when you need it. And just as importantly, they will celebrate with you when you succeed!

Tags: community support
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The Community’s Statement of Support: Why this Community

October 9th, 2009

It’s helpful to talk at your wedding ceremony, particularly in the statement of support about why this particular community will be helpful to you as you enter marriage. For instance

they’ve always supported you and they’ve always been honest and helpful.
they have good marriages
they know and respect one another and will form a good community around you.

Tip: Let them know that they’re special to you and that you’re so grateful that you can rely on their honesty and support.

Tags: community, community support
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Creating a Community Statement of Support at Your Wedding

October 6th, 2009

This is a piece of the wedding that every ceremony ought to have but few do. Bottom line, marriages that are grounded in community do better. If you tell your community you want their support, they’re going to be more conscious about giving it to you.

It’s a fairly simple process that turns the question (left over from when our nuptials were property transactions, pure and simple) “Does anyone object?” to the more important question (because objections should have been raised a long time ago if there were problems!) “Who supports this marriage?” Over the next couple days, we’ll look at the important points:

An acknowledgment of the importance of community to a wedding couple.
An acknowledgment of how important this particular community is to you.
An acknowledgment that your marriage will thrive more strongly with your community’s support.
An invitation to your community to support the two of you, your promises and your marriage.

Tip: Taking these simple steps can radically strengthen your ties to your community and your marriage.

Tags: community, community support
Posted in Ritual Activities, Weddings with meaning, Your Wedding Ceremony | No Comments »

It’s a Dog’s Wedding: Part One

September 22nd, 2009

My dear friend Ms. Mutton Chop wrote to ask me about the role of dogs in weddings. Actually, Muttons, if I may be so familiar, there are many. Particularly if one is as stylish and as relaxed as you are.

Many dogs are present at their human partners’ wedding. After all, they’re one of the family.

Tip: One very traditional role for canines is the carrying of the rings. Rings can be carried in on a pillow if you find that amusing, or they can be tied to the collar. No dog I have ever encountered has found it amusing to have the pillow tied to her collar as they tend to slip around and get in your way. MsMuttons