So, if you talked over the song thing and no one song emerged as your courting favorite, why not be more delib­erate about it?

What if, after working on your reasons for marrying and the promises you would make to form the bedrock of your marriage, you chose a song to cele­brate those values and those promises? What if you used it throughout the day to deepen your community’s asso­ci­a­tion (and your own) of your marriage with those qual­i­ties? The way our brains work, when you hear that song later, forever after, you will recall how you felt when you married and deepen the connec­tion between the two of you.

Tip: Choose a song that’s really about you and then use it throughout the entire cere­mony. The wonderful thing about music is that it can be varied. So, if a song is played by different musi­cians, or in a different style, you’re suggesting rather than hitting people over the head with it. You don’t want to get too obvious with this. You want to be able to hear it again. And you want to choose it together!

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